My sisters kids have everything...now my three year old is comparing!?

My sister has two girls of 7 and 5...my daughter is 3. My sisters kids have a LOT of stuff...a big playhouse in the garden, around 5 different doll prams and 4 doll houses, they have their own tv, computers and dvd players...my daughter is just noticing what things they have and has started asking for her own TV in her room...something I'm seriously against...kids shouldnt be segregated off upstairs to watch tv...thats something they should get when teenagers and need privacy. My daughter has lots of toys and a loving home, she is going to private school in January....but why do I feel resentful of my sister? Her choices are affecting my child.

My sisters kids have everything...now my three year old is comparing!?violin

i think that maybe your child See's all the cool stuff that she don't have. simply because she don't have it. that's totally normal. children what what they cant have. that's why they have parents. she is so much younger then them as well.

My sisters kids have everything...now my three year old is comparing!?chinese theater opera theater

i dont see why u are resentful of your sister. you are chosing how to raise her child just like shes chosing to raise hers.
Wow, what can a person do in this situation? I agree about the TV situation 100%, but I don't know what a person can do to reason with a 3 year old about material things like that, and you can't really ask your sister to not give to her kids. Personally, with giving to your kids, less is more, meaning the less they have, the more they appreciate and are happy with their things. You're probably just going to have to wait until she is older and can understand the situation
Basic answer your sisters kids are spoilt, i have a 3 yr old daughter and i totally agree with u about not having a TV in her room, explain to her that she can watch TV with u in the lounge as u enjoy spending time with her and doesn't need a TV in her room, your daughter will appreciate it more as she gets older and u will be alot closer as for your sisters children who will just want more and more as they get older and will grow up to be spoilt adults who will expect to get everything they want, why would a little girl need more then 1 doll pram any way they can only play with 1 at a time. Don't worry it sounds like u are doing an excellent job raising your daughter u should be proud...
Your child will encounter this with she enters school. Some of her future friends already have the TV in their room etc. There are people, your sister for one who doesn't share the same values of raising their children, as you do.The important thing is the approach you take in answering her questions reguarding the situation.

Next time she brings up having a TV in her room. Let her know that you believe that a bedroom is suppose to be a place to relax, think, and sleep. A TV in the room will take away from that.
Three can be a tricky age. Psychologically she is getting ready for the age of 'self'. Before this age kids don't know that other people are different. They think that what they are feeling is what everyone else feels, ex. when a 2 year old hits another they only know that it didn't hurt them so they think that hitting doesn't hurt. As your child gets closer to 4 (girls around 4 and boys closer to 5) they are starting to notice that they are different from another person, ex. they have different toys or different color hair. The best thing to do- and this might be difficult to explain at first, but if you are honest and tell your child your views on how you feel, it will make it easier for you as she grows. Now, I'm not saying that you walk up to your daughter and tell her that you don't want her to have a TV because you don't want her to be shut up in her room all day, but try to get her to enjoy watching TV with you in the common area. Try saying something like, "Darling, I like to watch TV with you! How else am I to know what Dora is exploring today?" That way she will want to include you in her activities, it will help you from resenting your sister, and it will your daughter busy and not wanting something she doesn't need.

As far as resenting your sister... it's hard, but don't. Every time you start to feel angry about her choices and how they are affecting your child- remember that you are your daughters mother! You are her biggest influence up till she start school. You have the power to make decisions for your daughter regardless of the decisions made by your sister. She has the right to raise her children the way she sees fit and so do you. It's difficult when the ideals clash and they effect your decisions, but take a deep breath and be honest with your sister too! Respecting her choices while you watch her children will encourage her to respect your choices when she is watching your child. Try to compromise when possible or, unfortunately, limit exposure time. Ether way, honesty and respect is the best choice.

P.S. Quality time with your daughter never hurt anyone and setting specific time to watch her favorite movie or show might spawn a new habit that can grow beyond just a TV in her room, it can help her trust you to buy her the things she needs and making a special treat out of that little extra thing that she wants. Good luck!
This is just the start - your daughter may compare what she has to her cousins, but when she starts school she will compare to her classmates etc. They all compare and they all think that others have more than them. Because they may see something that they dont have but would love to have or have really had fun playing with at someone elses home. This does not mean that they go without. Sounds to me you give your daughter quite a lot. When our kids talk like this - we remind them that they dont necessarily have more - they just have different things. Kids dont have the maturity and reasoning ability to see the difference between more and different. They need to have this explained to them - but remember it is okay for your nieces to have things - it should never be put to your daughter that it is wrong for them to have all these things - because from the mouths of babes - one day she may just burst out with my mom says "blah blah blah" - get the drift.............

We all choose how to raise our children. We are all different and have different values. That is okay. Perhaps you resent your sister because you dont know how to respond to your daughter when she compares things. Learning how to respond is important you will feel better when you do. Your sisters choices will only effect your child if you let them. She may resent that you do xyz - but in reality are you doing anything wrong by living by your choices and values - just as much as is she doing anything wrong by living by her choices and values.

You may say something like - in our family we do things this way and we have our own family rules - we watch tv together or in a room that is a shared family space. It is fun watching shows together. It teaches us about sharing. It is a time we can be together and have special time together. It is about mom and dad watching something that you would like to see with you and you and dad watching something that mom would like to see with mom etc and sharing those special moments. We can talk after or during (if okay) about the funny, interesting, sad things in a show/film. Let me tell you this - our kids are teens. They are NOT allowed to have televisions in their room.

They do have a rumpus room - there is a tv in there - if their friends/family are visiting or sleeping over then they get to watch tv in the rumpus room. These are times when they may need privacy. We had a bit of kicking and screaming about no tvs in bedrooms over the years - but now they love nothing better than to cuddle together on the sofa to watch something together. Sometimes when my husband and son are out or away - my daughter and I hire a movie and we have a special girls night. The boys have special boys nights. A tv in a shared family space can be made to be something special - as opposed to not as good as what your sister or the neighbour has etc.

In respect to toys - just say isnt it great that they have those things - it makes it special when we visit - they have different things to you - it is something you can look forward to doing when you visit - just like they look forward to playing with (note something of hers) when they visit us. This takes the competition out of it - and empasises that their things are special because they are different toys to what she normally gets to play with and visa versa for her cousins.

Another thing to realise is that by you learning how to respond - your daughter will too. Kids and adults can sometimes say things - if you do not make a big deal out of this - and respond appropriatedly - when her cousin emphasises "I have 4 dolls houses" - your daughter will learn to say "that is great it is something special I get to do with you when I visit." In respect to tv - she may learn to say - "wow you have a tv in your room - that is different to what we do at home - tv at home is one of our special family time activities."
Look right now its your sister but later it will be what every child in school has. Your daughter will always find someone who has more than her -thats natural. You just need to say yes they have lots of nice things but your Dad and I have decided that a TV in your room will wait until you are older.

Don't feel resentful of your sister - this is normal child stuff, kids always want everything that anyone else has. Your sis just bought her kids stuff they wanted and she approved of -just like you do.